Self-Power: Reclaiming What You Handed Away

Many people believe that power is something stolen from them. But in most cases, the truth is more subtle: we are the ones who give it away.

Through what we allow, what we tolerate, and what we avoid doing, we slowly lose our authority over our lives until we cannot even define ourselves clearly anymore.

The tragedy is not that power was taken—it is that we surrendered it, sometimes unknowingly. Here are ten ways we hand away our power, and how to take it back.

1. Letting Other People’s Opinions Become Your Compass

The moment you build your life around what others approve of, you hand them the steering wheel. You are no longer the driver—you are the passenger, hoping they take you somewhere close to your destination.

2. Saying “Yes” When Your Spirit is Screaming “No”

Each time you override your boundaries just to please others, you surrender your authority. What looks like keeping the peace is, in reality, giving someone else the power to set rules for your life.

3. Needing Constant Validation Before Making a Move

When you cannot make a decision without someone’s blessing, you have outsourced your destiny. Your dreams become trapped in someone else’s fears, schedules, and priorities.

4. Over-Explaining Yourself to Gain Acceptance

Every time you justify your choices excessively, you put others in the judge’s seat. You hand them the gavel while you stand trial, waiting for a verdict on how you should live.

5. Tolerating Disrespect Because “It’s Not That Deep”

Tolerance is good, but when it becomes an excuse for enduring disrespect, you teach others how to treat you.

I once endured a relationship where my partner openly disrespected me, looking at other women lustfully and making derogatory comments in my presence. I told myself it wasn’t “that deep” because I wanted to avoid conflict. But over time, I realized I was losing myself. Eventually, I raised the bar and walked away with my shoulders high. That was the day I reclaimed my power.

6. Letting Fear Make Decisions for You

Fear is a silent thief. It does not fight—it simply waits. And when you choose comfort over courage, you hand fear the keys to your life.

7. Ignoring Your Intuition

Your instincts are a divine gift, yet many choose to ignore them in favor of others’ logic. Each time you silence your inner knowing, you say: “I trust you with my life more than I trust me.” Trust your gut. There is wisdom in it.

8. Staying Silent When It Matters

Silence in the wrong moments is not peace—it is consent. By staying quiet, you hand the microphone to the very voices you disagree with.

9. Blaming Others for Your Life

The longer you point fingers, the longer you remain powerless. You cannot fix what you refuse to own. Responsibility is the first step toward freedom.

10. Replaying the Past Like a Broken Record

When yesterday dictates today, you donate your power to your past. True power is not in what happened—it is in what you choose right now.

11. Staying in Spaces That Shrink You

Sometimes it’s not what you do, but where you stay. Remaining in draining relationships, dead-end jobs, or circles that mock your growth is handing your power to environments that do not deserve you.

Conclusion: Take Back Your Power

Dear reader, self-power is not about controlling others—it is about reclaiming yourself.

Find out where and to whom you have been giving your power away. Was it to fear? To toxic people? To your past? To the opinions of others?

Whatever the answer, you can begin today to reclaim it. Stand taller. Trust yourself. Draw clear boundaries. Speak when it matters. Choose courage over fear.

Your future is not waiting on chance—it is waiting on your decision to take back your power.

Inspired by GOA Community
Presented by: Anutanwa Kosisochukwu